I chose to sing
Hi, I’m Tamara. And after 11 years of battling cancer… I want to share my story of how I chose to sing.
That’s how I want to start.
Not with a story of pain.
Not with a list of surgeries or medical terms that don’t define me—
But with a choice.
A choice to sing. To dance. To smile. To live.
This blog is more than my story—it’s my love letter.
To life.
To the joy I fought for.
And to the people who helped me hold on to it.
To my parents, Youssef and Mirna—thank you for being my strength when I had none left.
To my twin sisters, Lea and Lana—thank you for being my light and laughter through it all.
To my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and extended family – your love has been my shelter.
To my friends, thank you for showing up again and again, and reminding me that I was never alone.
⸻
On February 2, 2023, over two years ago, I wrote about my story with cancer at a time I was about to have my 8th brain surgery. Little did I know that there were 3 more operations to go before being told by my doctors that there will be no more opportunities to have operations, and that I will resort to cancer treatments only.
I chose on that date to write as this was my way of trying to understand what was happening to me, to hold onto hope, and to speak to the world. Here is what I wrote:
Back in 2015, I got diagnosed with Astroblastoma, a rare and aggressive type of brain cancer. I was so young to understand what cancer really meant and the journey that will be awaiting. Today, 8 years after being diagnosed, I can finally say that I am proud of my mindset, my patience, and most importantly, I am proud of myself. People often point out how strong I am and are very amazed in the way I talk about my battle against cancer. As I grew older, I was faced with several situations where I had to share my story with others, and I noticed how much it empowered them and me. Cancer is truly a very broad term, that many people fear, but in fact, I am grateful for what it has taught me. It taught me patience. It taught me positivity. It taught me gratitude.
Tomorrow, I have my 9th operation. Hearing the news about my cancer recurrence for the ninth time is an experience that I really do not know how to describe. I am numb. When my parents dreadfully told me the news again, I looked at them with emptiness in my eyes, had absolutely no reaction, and started singing the TikTok song that was stuck in my head for the whole day. I was still under shock to comprehend what I had heard, but I thought to myself that I have 2 choices: either to cry about this reality and imagine the pain and dull hospital room or to be positive and think of how powerful I really am to handle my circumstances while being surrounded with my loved ones. With no doubt I chose the positive aspect and will live life to the fullest until the operation, and will continue to enjoy every bit of life post-operation. I have reached a point in life where I accept everything with open arms. My father always told me “God tests the one he loves, and knows that you’re able to overcome this.” Time after time I understand the statement more and more.
Again, this blog is my love letter to life. It’s not about cancer.
It’s about everything that came with it—growth, joy, dreams, travels, dancing in hospital halls, making kids laugh at St. Jude, and living every moment surrounded by love.
I won’t say too much here.
I want you to go into this blog.
Explore it. Feel it.
Maybe cry, maybe laugh, maybe both.
But know that every word, every photo, every post carries a piece of me—and a piece of everyone who stood by me.
This blog began in a hospital room, but it’s not about endings. It’s about keeping the music on.
I chose to sing. Now it’s your turn to listen.
May 1, 2025
Ahmad Afif Zarwi
Tamara.. we may not have met but I have known your story for a while. I can’t believe you left us so early and it was a very tough stage of your life. May you rest in peace ❤️
Maya Nasreddine
She’s an icon of strength ❤️ Her story marked us all.
Fly high and light up the sky with your smile!
Dory chatila
1 st may her soul rest peace , she was really an angel, her face always smiling, she’s very strong and she has a very sweet heart,
Allah yerhama 🙏🙏
God bless her family 😘❤️
Zeinab
I want to condolence Tamara’s family that with the grief of losing daughter a beautiful soul that is loved by everyone who knows her and who does not , she remains alive in everyone’s memory, lets accept she rest from suffering the medication that she passed through Tamara will still be alive and will remain singing in your hearts , she is An angel full of patients and love , she is unique in her experience and will be remembered for always. May her memory be a blessing, and may your hearts find comfort in knowing that she made a difference. May Allah gives her the peace in her new home heaven🙏🙏
Lara al dandachi
You are an angel in heaven Tamara and
a BRAVE brave soul
Honored to have heard your story
Rest in peace Angel ♥️
Mouna hamdan
Un gran ejemplo de lucha , la vi cantando en una video llamada y aprendí a quererla como si la conociera , la lucho hasta que llego el.dia y se nos fue enseñando muchas cosas desde lejos , ella nos dejó una enseñanza te voy a querer siempre . HASTA SIEMPRE QUERIDA TAMARA
Carla Hajj
Tamtam, its crazy how much I learnt from you. You came to this world as a lesson to everyone around you. Your strength, your kindness, the love and care, the smiles you put on our faces. You’re one of a kind. How beautiful it is to leave this world leaving a footprint on each and every person you’ve met, even the ones that don’t know you. As much as it hurts that you’re not around anymore, we know you’re in a pain-free world now. A world as beautiful as your soul.
I miss you so much my twin Tamtam
Fly so high, you beautiful angel 🤍
Abir
To a beautiful Angel named Tamara,
I didn’t have the privilege of knowing you personally, and we never met . but I’ve followed your story through close friends. From everything I’ve heard, you were a truly courageous and beautiful young woman, with a spirit that left a deep impression on everyone around you.
Your story is unlike any other — powerful, inspiring, and heartbreaking all at once. I often found myself wishing I had known you, or that I could have done something to help.
It’s incredibly painful to see someone so full of life leave this world far too soon. You touched more lives than you could ever know, and your memory will continue to live on in the hearts of those who knew and loved you.
Dania Dibsi
Tamara is iconic, her smile throughout her tough journey will always be imprinted in our minds, such a lovely and inspiring soul 🤍
Line
I never met Tamara but I feel like I did. Her positivity and contagious smile made me feel like I did.
Tamara reading your words here feels like a gift. Thank you.
May your soul rest in peace.
To her parents, sisters, family and friends – just know that Tamara’s beautiful soul will live on forever through her powerful impact: her love for live.
Ahmad Nasser
Rest in peace angel 🕊️
Mireille merhej
She was a light in this world . gentle, strong, and full of grace. I watched her grow through pain and still shine like an angel among us. She faced the darkest storms with a courage beyond her years, teaching us all what it truly means to live, to love, and to endure. Her spirit will forever stay with us in every quiet strength, in every kind gesture, in every sunrise that reminds us of hope. Rest in peace, beautiful soul. You were the greatest lesson life ever gave us.
Rola Farhat
Great to have met u Tamara and ur beautiful family members who are by far the best in teaching lessons on love, care , perseverance and resistance… In ur humble words and everlasting smile, you were a magnet to good people who enjoyed your company and miss u tremendously …
Hala Raad
Tamara, your spirit is like no other. I have known you since your young age and you touched me by your empathy for friends and others around you, by your big smile and the humor and giggles that fill a room!
I always pictured you as a butterfly 🦋
By fighting cancer, you gave a lesson of courage and determination. Your continued smile was contagious. Even when it was hard to smile, the smile was always in your heart ❤️
A soldier is never alone on the battlefield.. your wonderful parents and extended family are a lesson of family solidarity, of love, and grace. They all fought with this continued smile on their face no matter how hard, how grieving and how unfair this all was..
Fly high beautiful butterfly 🦋 You have always been & will always be an angel 💖
#i_chose_to_sing – Your music shall live forever 🙏🏻 I love you ❤️
Yasmin Fauze
Tamara, you have always been a diamond on Earth. Rest in peace. We all love you very much ❤️
Raya jamil
Tammy our angel🤍 you brought a smile to this world that left us all in the most positive mindset. U were, still are, and always gonna be the strongest fighter. You had the most contagious smile and the purest heart ever. To know you is to love you ya tammy i hope you are happy watching over us.
Jewel
I really wished I could’ve seen you one last time when I came back to Lebanon Tammy, but unfortunately I couldn’t. At least you’re no longer in pain and finally at peace. I’ll forever hold on to our childhood memories they’ll always have a special place in my heart.
Tina Jafarian
Tamara, you have radiated love and light since I’ve met you in my early childhood. May your beautiful soul rest in peace.
Sarah Al Asmar
I came across this blog by chance. I didn’t know Tamara, but reading her words makes it clear that she was someone who has a deep and beautiful impact. To anyone reading this, I want to share something I’ve learned about grief. It reminds me of a broken arm. At first, nothing feels possible. The pain takes over, and even the smallest tasks feel unmanageable. Then, slowly, we begin to adapt. We find ways to live with one functioning arm. It’s painful and hard, but we do it. Eventually, the cast comes off. The pain doesn’t vanish, on some days, when we exert ourselves, it flares up again as if to remind us that we had a broken arm. But little by little, we learn to move through the world again. The pain never fully disappears, but it becomes part of us. Grief is not linear, and it’s not something to get over. It’s something we learn to live with. And somehow, in time, we find space for joy again too. Tamara’s light clearly lives on in those who knew her. Even to someone like me, a stranger passing through, I felt her light and her presence. 🤍
Nadine Bolbol
I loved you since the day I saw you as a baby. I will never forget you. Ya habibtiii we used to look forward to seeing you in family gatherings. There was always something special about your presence. You taught us so much in your presence and in your absence. You are one of the greatest leasons in our lives. Fly high Tamtam and enjoy your next journey until we meet again❤️
Sara Hatoum
You are love Tamara. May your strength be remembered.
Kinda Khatib
Habibi Tamara may your beautiful soul rest in peace❤️ You deserve to rest. You were a very strong solider and your strength is something so admirable🤍
Khairye waked
Dear Tamara, always thinking of you with love. Your courage and love of life were truly inspiring, and you will always be remembered as a beautiful free soul with your radiant spirit and the love you brought to so many. Your 11 years of battling cancer with such grace and strength is a testament to your beautiful heart. We are so deeply saddened by your loss. Your memory will forever be a blessing. May your beautiful soul rest in the best place in heaven